‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the gym
Not a treadmill was running, no bike was a-spin;
The towels were rolled by the front desk with care,
In hopes that all fit ladies soon would be there;
But this fit lady was fast asleep in bed,
While visions of tempo runs danced in my head;
Then my alarm, in its loudness, went off with a clap,
Waking me up from my long winter’s nap,
When out on the street there arose a pitter-patter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Down the stairs I ran just like Paula Radcliffe
(If she broke an ankle and her knee was stiff).
The sun in the east crept up steady and slow
Trying to convince me it wasn’t ten below,
When, who just happened to run by in a blur,
But Girls Gotta Move and eight fitness bloggers,
With my fitness slave drivers, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment I was in for it.
More rapid than eagles their orders they came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and called us by name;
“Run, Eat, Repeat! McSlacker! now, Tina and Jenna!
On MizFit! Jogger’s Life! Let’s go Fit Bottomed Girls!
To the end of the race! you won’t hit the wall!
Now sprint away! sprint away! sprint away all!”
And these runners had endorphins in great supply,
When they met with a hill, up to the top they’d fly,
So up to Central Park the ladies they flew,
With a group full of athletes—marathoners too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the street
Prancing and pounding of many little feet.
As I drew in my gut, and was turning around,
Down the trail Girls Gotta Move came with a bound.
They were dressed in spandex, from their head to their feet,
And their clothes were stained with bits of cream of wheat;
Racing bibs were safety-pinned right onto their backs,
And they weren’t followers—they were leading the pack.
Their abs—how they rippled! Their quads were so cut!
Their can-do ‘tude pulled me out of a running rut!
Their broken-in shoes were laced up like the pros,
And their quick stretches meant they were ready to go;
Wads of gum were held tightly in their teeth,
Matching sweatbands encircled their heads like wreaths;
They had infectious smiles and flat little bellies,
That made me wish they’d eat a bowlful of jelly.
I felt chubby and plump, like a jolly old elf,
But I really liked them, in spite of myself;
A wink of their eyes, and a twist of their heads,
Made me wonder if I’d soon be dropping dead;
They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
They picked up the pace of our run; then turned with a smirk,
And picking up their knees, elbows tucked, breathing deep
They gave us a nod, and the pace we did keep;
They ran to the finish, and to the team gave a grin,
Knowing our running obsession was to begin.
But I heard them exclaim, ere they ran towards the sun,
“Good health to all, you guys gave us a run!”
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